Ask and ya’ll shall receive. I can’t tell you how many times I have been told that I need to write a book about the loony things that happen all around me. I have to admit, it is remarkable how many funny experiences I have on a daily basis.
While I assume most of the readers of this blog will know me personally I will venture to share a little bit about this season in my life for those who do not. I am a 25 year old colorist that lives in a uppity part of the Inland Empire, located in the hottest part of SoCal. I grew up locally and built a nice sized business here, expecting to follow the typical life plan my friends all have, married with a family at a young age. In addition to working on my career I worked extensively to become “The Good Wife”. I was the master chameleon, morphing myself into whatever the flavor of perfect was at the time. I have always identified the needs of others better than my own. I recently had a huge shift in perspective, plan, and expectation when my relationship of nearly four years ended. I found myself broken, lost and gripping tightly to my beautiful, unworn wedding gown.
After a season of devistation and utter imbalance, the light shone at the end of the tunnel. I found my voice, I laughed again, I felt the sun. I identified that gut feeling I had ignored for a lifetime. People I passed on the street for years (it really is that small of a town) stopped and told me I looked happy. Meow, that rocked my world! I thought I had been happy in the small, little box I had been in, now I was happy in the fresh air of the world.
I have since made a point of doing activities I have always wanted to, getting out of town as much as possible, meeting as many people as humanly possible, all while limiting the very special love and joy I have within to those that TRULY deserve it. Isn’t that just the crux of it all? How do you really know who gets that nugget of treasure we all have within? Well I have not exactly ironed all of that out but I am working on it and let me tell you, the process is amazing.
One of my best friends was over last night and we were laughing about the apartment we lived in about five years ago. This condo was seated deep in the ghetto, had horrific 1970’s carpet, our neighbors were unsavory at best and we could not have loved that home more. We didn’t bother with renters insurance because all we owned was a 32 inch tube television (no cable), a boom box, a microwave and a few Led Zepplin posters. As little as we had, as hard as we were working to launch our careers, and as scared as we probably should have been we weren’t. As we talked five years later we realized that no matter how difficult it was at the time, we saw the gold all around us. We fed our neighbors dinner quite often, we frequented the local dive beer bar (to class up the joint, we argued at the time!), we laughed and we danced the nights away in our little condo. There was plenty of room to dance with our lack of furniture! Would we do it again, yes. Could we do it as easily now, probably not. You see, as we moved out, lived, and experienced more of this world we learned the hard lesson that even when you focus all of your efforts on seeing the treasure, the gold in a broken situation, sometimes it is just that, a broken situation. I think Pink said it perfectly, “I want back my ignorance and bliss.”
So here we go, my friend. This blog will chronicle finding the balance between seeing the gold and knowing when to leave a broken situation with as much of yourself as possible. Hope you love it!