P.S. Mr. Nice Guy.

My friend Kevin summed up the Nice Guy confusion after the last post in one very clear thought, “… He is just befuddled by the ungodly Douchery of the men she does date especially when combined with the constant ‘I wish I could meet a *good* man’ bullshit.” Well, Kev, that door does seem to swing both ways… Women date a**holes the same way that a lot of good men get tied down to bitches. It is the eternal mystery of women everywhere when we see fantastic men with lunatic, demanding women.  Let me explain…

On St. Patrick’s Day Eve my friends and I huddled around  a local pub table and celebrated whatever it is that St. Patrick’s Day represents (I am Irish and still the history of this day is irrelevant to me). I was the designated driver and was having fun soaking up the local flavor, the part of town we were in draws a bizarre crowd crossing every demographic line imaginable. It was a colorful crowd to say the least. My friend and her boyfriend started talking to this guy, telling jokes and drunk laughing. This guy had personality for daaaayyyyys until…. This angry little broad walked up to him, handed him her purse, and shot his happiness down with her dagger glares. That man shrunk three sizes in that moment. I thought I was the only one that witnessed what had happened until my friend started ranting about how messed up it is that good nice guys always date crazy bitches. My friend’s boyfriend just kind of shook his head sadly as if he just lost a comrade  to the enemy.

In another case, I was talking to an old friend last night about this girl we both know. I made note that no matter how messy this girl is (messy is a generous adjective, this girl has  a criminal record and a raging temper) she has managed to date really nice, caring guys (yes, that was plural) that, without fail, put a ring on it and fight like hell to save her from herself . She uses the guy and the situation until she is ready to move on to the next and as a result, leaves a trail of damage behind her. My friend pointed out that from a man’s perspective, she constantly plays the roll of damsel in distress and men want to rescue her, it is just how they are wired.

So here is the situation, women date Dbags because it is our nature to nurture. We like the feeling of being needed for what we are created to do. Our same instincts that make us rescue kittens and coo at doe eyed babies drive us to feverishly and ignorantly try to fix the sadness and pain in the jerks we date. Like pearls to swine, it is all in vain we just can’t see that in the moment. Men are guilty of the same, they are made to be the fearless (or seemingly so, anyway) leader and as a result are sometimes drawn to women that require a lot of work from them, it makes them feel productive and also utilizes the best part of their nature. There is nothing wrong with the Nice Guys (or Gals) in these situations, it is just that their best is being wasted on an unappreciative party.

The world is filled with varying degrees of damaged people. There is nothing wrong with the benevolent need to be needed, it is one of the most endearing human qualities. There is something to be said for self-preservation though and knowing who on this vast earth is worth the goodness in your heart. Good Guys and Gals of the world, keep up the good fight!

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