A little Hope and a lot of Love

Lu and I have been enjoying babywearing from her very early days. There is something about holding my little baby chest to chest, or hot little breaths on my neck, that really centers what is important to me in my day. Utility aside, babywearing brings comfort to both Lu and myself.


Comfort that I  have been thirsting for lately.


We have been in constant motion for a while now. Zooming, accomplishing, focusing, eating, sleeping and doing it all again. In the blur of checking boxes, my heart has been breaking and mending and breaking again as I process the loss of Spud and starting to try again. Shoved deep in the brief moments of quiet I battle with being sad for our loss and the guilt I feel for asking for more than the precious life we already have bounding around our living room.


The antidote for the creeping sadness for what could have been and the worries about what will be has been honing a sharp focus on what is right now. My Lucie, this sweet little rainbow baby, is growing so fast and changes every single day.  When we are fortunate enough to wander the aisles of Target or stroll the dogs around the neighborhood, it is so fun to hold her close. She enjoys leaning over to touch each flower and bush, pointing expectantly to the next one she sees on our path. “Buhhh?” she says as she grabs at leaves.


We needed a new wrap. While our stash is tiny, it sure is mighty. I glanced through babywearing sale pages looking for something that called our name. I wanted a rainbow gradient of some sort for both the rainbow baby meaning but also because of how bright and happy they are. We needed some fresh duds for our joyful walks. As I perused the web one jumped out and bit me.




A rainbow wrap named Hope. I couldn’t believe my luck.


As my heart rate quickened, I braced myself for the let down. Often my bougie wrap tastes are shut down by our missionary budget. There was no way this gorgeous piece would be in our price range.


It was. You guys. This was a BOAB (Babywearing on a Budget) piece by a beautiful wrap company. So we ordered it and I waited rather impatiently for it to arrive from clear across the country. As I waited, I braced myself for a strenuous break in process, I braced myself for being disappointed with the color scheme, I tried to talk myself out of loving it just in case it wasn’t just right. 13240148_10201745042265020_4786777333338479101_n


But, as luck would have it, it was perfect. Hope softened up with a wash and iron. I fiddled with braiding it a few times but it was already ready to wrap! In Lu’s official break in ceremony, she emptied the contents of a blue carrot squeezie onto it at a craft fair. Luckily, it rinsed off and got it’s second bath in one day! 13233083_10201745122387023_1587284438297212954_n



I can’t tell you how much we LOVE the Kokoskaa Hope wrap. It has been so much fun wrapping my little rainbow in Hope. 13238968_10201745938367422_695258325468484402_n


2 Comments Add yours

  1. ktjrichards says:

    Somehow I missed that you lost your Spud in February; I’m am incredibly sorry! Losing a baby is possibly the worst thing I’ve felt in my entire existence.
    That said, Hope would make me downright giddy, especially if it means wearing my baby close! Enjoy!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. megrae1225 says:

    I LOVE that wrap. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with grief. It’s such a nasty thing that never listens and certainly doesn’t stay in the box we try to put it in. Love you, sweet friend.


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