If you love the unspoken laws of Social Media, this series might not be for you. I didn’t start it on the 1st and it certainly isn’t November. For most, January is the month for Whole 30, new fitness strategies, and decluttering. This year, for my fresh start, I want to root myself in thankfulness, in gratitude for the things large and small that are at work in our lives. 30 days to begin a habit that will hopefully set the pace for this year and beyond. For these things, I am grateful:
It is morning time and we have done our chores, the chickens and worms are fed. Lucie zips from one end of the yard, impressing herself with her top notch speed. Ben is on my belly, nursing in the morning light and I am in awe. 10ish months ago I had sat in this same lounge, the same sun was hitting my swollen belly still sticky with tape from wireless monitoring at the hospital. I had been in L&D for 24 hours using all kinds of medicine to get my boy out the day before and there I sat, sticky and massively pregnant.
My fears were real, my baby was being bathed in sugar water from my gestational diabetes, his heart rate was not allowing for pitocin to crank my body into gear, and my own heart was afraid that he was in danger every minute he was still inside of me. Failed inductions are a special kind of hell, so few women are given the opportunity to leave the hospital once a induction gets rolling that it can feel very isolating to do so. It was absolutely the right decision but sitting there, on that lounge, I felt very broken.
His hair is brighter in the sunshine and his emerging curls are just an added level of cute on his little head. I love this little boy more and more every day. Waiting, trusting in the gifts of my care team and in God’s perfect timing stretched the week before Benny’s birth into a half a lifetime but it also stretched my faith and my perseverance. For that season, I am grateful.